Thursday, July 22, 2010

The marriage book

Can you give the marriage book credit for helping your marriage if you grow closer together by making fun of the marriage book?  The marriage book is a good book and based on really good research with really good advice and exercises but it's written for all kinds of people, including those are a day or two away from divorce and wish they had a few more days.  Since we are not there, thank goodness, some of the scripts and such sound a little, um, extreme.  Our new favorite is in the chapter about "turning toward your partner."  Dr. Gottman talks about empathizing with your partner and not taking sides with their arch nemesis.  So if your partner feels wronged, you are supposed so say, "That's outrageous!", which we feel is an appropriate response for any sort of thoughtful or emotional expression.

 For example:

-I think I'm going to have ice cream
-That's outrageous!

-This towel is dirty.
-That's outrageous!

-Buddy did all his poops today.
-That's outrageous!

It's really helping our marriage.  

In fact, it's helping so much, we celebrated our second anniversary on Monday!

No comments:

Post a Comment