Dr. Therapist tells us that it takes 5 years for married couples to grow accustomed to their life together and work out most of the ins and outs of daily life. S and I are 1.92 years into our marriage so that means we still have 3.08 years of annoying each other, I mean, figuring stuff out. I guess what he really means is don't put so much pressure on yourself to have everything settled in the first few days, months, years and don't panic if life together seems infinitely more complicated than life apart.
Dr. Therapist also has this to say about in-laws, "it takes time for that." As in, it takes time to be happy about spending a holiday with your in-laws instead of wishing you were with your family of origin and other such situations. I'm very close to my family of origin so this is a big freakin' challenge for me. But I guess Dr. Therapist was right because at the family wedding a few weeks ago, I was genuinely excited to see the in-laws, both immediate and extended family, and then saying goodbye was truly sad. A first! Not that I didn't enjoy everyone's company on previous visits but you know, it's like the difference between your very best friend leaving after a visit and saying goodbye to the nice people you work with. One is a slightly less heart-wrenching than the other. But, on this occasion I moved closer to best friend territory. It is reassuring to know that these relationships are developing, growing, and evolving and will continue to do so.
4 years ago