I would love to stay and chat,

But I really

Dear Ironic Mustache,

You think you are so clever with your pervasive presence on Pinterest and your appearance at weddings and parties.  "Look at me!  Wear me with glasses and a top hat and I am humorous just like the 19th century because the 19th century was so hilarious!" 

Well, Mister Mustache, you are not humorous.  To a dark haired female who spends just as much time with her tweezers as she does with her husband, you are simply my worst nightmare.  I believe that I speak for dark haired beauties everywhere when I say, STOP TAUNTING US!  See that girl up there?  Yeah, she's Asian.  So she doesn't understand that those mugs are not ironic, they are a method of psychological torture. 

And now you are not only trying to ruin parties and my morning coffee, you are infiltrating my bedroom!  The sacred place of sleep.  You know the place without judgment?  I will not sleep in this bed of lies.  Plus, your popularity made this possible.

Mustaches on baby booties?  Why, exactly, is this desirable? 

And why can't you just leave us alone?

Sincerely,
The female losers of the facial hair lottery

I am the 99%

This morning I woke up with very few covers.  And it was cold!  Well, very chilly.  Pretty chilly.  I put on slippers. 

Anyway, I had very few covers!  S got up to go for a run and the following conversation commenced -

Me: 99% of these covers are being owned by 1% of the people!
Him: Are you going to occupy the bed then?
Me: Yes!  For the next couple of hours!

Thus began the OTB movement.  Occupy The Bed is sweeping the nation.  I hear millions are joining in tonight.

S later corrected me that he is technically 50% of the people but I assured him the 50% of the people owning 99% of the covers still qualifies as bedding inequality.  The movement lives on!

Treasure!

One of the positive effects of my parents moving back into their house and not having access to all of their closets and cabinets (because we're using them) is that it is forcing them (and me) to go through boxes of old keepsakes and miscellany and take loads of stuff to Goodwill.  Yesterday I went through a box of random stuff from bathroom cabinets and I discovered treasure from the 1990s!

First, my old Caboodle!

Aren't I am awesome photographer?  Look at those vibrant yellow-y colors!

But seriously, my Caboodle!  But what could be inside?

Wait for it....

MY CRIMPER!!!  AHHHHH!!!

Let me clarify, my hot pink Sizzle crimper.  Sizzle?  No one would call a heated styling tool "sizzle" in 2011.  Luckily we learned that sizzling is not exactly the key to healthy hair. 

As much as I wanted to keep these artifacts for my future museum of 90s memorabilia, they have been donated to an Oklahoma City Goodwill.  If you're in the area and in the market for a vintage crimper or Caboodle storage system, I can point you in the direction of a clutch find.

Buddy vs. the bunny

Vision on the floor

If random hairs (from my head!) on the bathroom floor gross you out, please look away.

But if they don't, then look what I saw on the floor this morning!

Do you see the treble clef?  It's not exactly the Virgin Mary but I was excited enough to take a picture of it!

Did anything on your floor speak to you today?

Blogging or mind control?

I read a lot of crafty, creative, decorating, making-your-house-a-home type blogs.  I'm really into nesting right now.  And I can't afford to travel, my other favorite, so I'm trying to bloom where I'm planted, as they say.

Based on my research, I think that Target should give every blogger in the world a treat because I think they probably sold eleventy billion of these and at least half of that is probably because of all the bloggers who raved about it.  Seriously, if you are going to be a home decor-anista (I just made that up) in your 20s, this is a required accessory.  Don't believe me?

 via

 via

 via

 via

 via

 via

 via

 via

 via

 via

Doesn't it kind of make you laugh?  Don't get me wrong, it's a great accessory, but I chuckle.

I do like seeing how different people use the same pillow with different color combinations.  The first one is by far my favorite!

Hey, mom, you know how I said that gray and yellow combines were totally hot right now?  See what I mean?

Returning to my spiritual homeland

Since S posted about moving back to Oklahoma last week, you might think that I am waxing philosophical about returning to the place where I grew up. 

You would be WRONG. 

Oklahoma was my home, but my spiritual homeland it is not.

The royal goings-on have me thinking about the land of (nearly all) my ancestors.

 

Eight years ago (eight!?) I stepped off a train in London and thought, "I'm home!"  I love Great Britain.  I want to live there for a bit eventually and (don't tell my mom) give my kids the opportunity to spend some of their growing up among the British.  S isn't as committed to this dream as I am, but I'm working on him.

In the meantime, I am excited to finally embrace my British sensibilities when it comes to my appearance.  Tailored jackets, simple frocks, subtle jewelry, being a brunette...Princess Kate, you inspire me to be me.  I mean, I adore this outfit.

This outfit says "RENEE!!! WEAR ME!"

So I cleaned out my closet.  I got rid of 2.5 garbage bags of ill-fitting, slovenly clothes to make way for this outfit.

Do you want to know what else I like about Catherine, Duchess of Blahdiblah?  Her eyes are starting to get a little wrinkly.  You wouldn't mistake her for a 60-year-old, obviously, but she's also not passing for 16.  Do you know why I like this?  Not because I am mean-spirited, because I am starting to get wrinkly around my eyes.  Yay for being 29!

So thanks, Kate, for helping me embrace my inner British lady and my almost-30-year-old eyes.

But do you know the REAL reason that I am secretly British at heart?  I LOVE HATS.  I LOVE them.  Whenever I see hats I must put them on my head and try to invent reasons why I would wear them absolutely everywhere.  I adore hats.  When my friend Carrie gave me a cameo ring she said, "I chose this one for you because she's wearing a hat."  My spiritual homeland would have to include magnificent hats. 

How could you not love this?  I want it on my head.  And in my heart.

Thank you for indulging the pet parent

I love it when Buddy cuddles in our pillows during the day. 

Doesn't it look like he just finished reading and sat his glasses down to take a snooze?

I don't know why it is particularly adorable.  Maybe because I like to think that it's his way of being "close" to us while he's accomplishing his 12 hours of napping.  Maybe because he's on my side of the bed, obviously signaling his deep and abiding affection for his human mom. 

Day 4 in solitary

Tomorrow is day four of SNOW WEEK 2011.  S doesn't have school, I don't have anywhere to be...it was amazing on Monday, okay on Tuesday, less than exciting today, but tomorrow?  Let's get this thing over with already!

This little image, courtesy of an Atlanta resident on facebook explains our predicament nicely.

Here's what we've done so far:

• Found out school's canceled!  Do the happy dance!
• Sleep in.
• Go for a hike.  The snow is beautiful!
• Watch local new coverage.  Guess what??? It snowed ALL OVER THE CITY!
• Drink a warm beverage.
• Take a nap.
• Play Wii.
• Bake banana muffins.  Aren't snow days the best?
• Take pictures of the amazing miracle of snow.
• Watch local news coverage.  There's still snow.
• Cook dinner.  
• Have a Frasier marathon.  
• Found out school's canceled again!  Yay!
• Sleep in.
• Wonder what to do.
• Watch local news coverage.
• Finish a book.
• Clean out a closet.
• Drink a warm beverage.
• Watch more local news coverage.
• Wonder what to do.
• Play more Wii.
• Really?  School's canceled again?
• Once again force Buddy to go do his business in the ice.  What happened to the snow?
• Enjoy the hospitality of nearby friends.  Carefully walk to their house.
• Sleep in.  Why get up?
• Three days at home, shouldn't we be accomplishing something?
• Oh look, it's still there.
• Walk our trash down to the dumpster.  It was necessary.  But dangerous.
• Thank God for our four-wheel drive SUV and go to REI.
• Guess what?  When there's snow on the ground it turns out you need EVERYTHING at REI!  We would totally use this!!!
• Pay off S's car!  (A pretty good high point.)
• Celebrate with a careful drive to Community Q BBQ.
• Take a nap.
• Oh, look, white stuff's still there.
• Wonder what to do.
• Oh, look, school's canceled again.  Sheesh.
• Create our own Mythbusters marathon via Netflix instant play.
• Drink a warm beverage. 
• Watch local news coverage.  Can't get enough!
• Wonder what to do.
• Exhaust the contents of the internet.
• Redesign blog in honor of current weather conditions.
• Wonder what to do.

 What magic will tomorrow bring?  Only time will tell.  In the meantime, we are grateful for a warm house and plenty of food. 

You know it's love..

When your husband comes home from a trip to Ace Hardware,
says "I got you a present!"
and presents you with this:

Um, have you noticed?

Have you noticed that we have collected a few more countries on our flag counter???  We are up to FIVE!

Can you believe it?  This might be the most exciting part of my day.  I know, that worries me too.

So now I will channel Alanis:

Thank you Canada.  

Thank you Russia.  

Thank you Australia.  

Thank you Indonesia.  

Thank you US.

Oh, btw, I think that some of my favorite bloggers might have commented on a couple of posts.  Eek!  I love you guys (but not in a weird way)! 

And in other news

S: I like your blog, uh...

B: Our?

S: ...our blog...

B: You should post something!

S: I should.

B: Post something now!  Right now!

S: (type, type, type, type....nfl.com)

We're going international, baby!

I wish this was an announcement that S and I are going on some fancy trip or moving to a foreign locale for a bit.  But it is not.  We are going to stay in Atlanta.  Where is it 92 degrees on the first day of autumn.  Don't get me started.

No, this is an excitement of a different nature.  We have our first international ticker hit!

Hello Canada!

Watching the ticker

I put a new toy on our blog, this little visitor counter:

You can see it down on the right-hand side, underneath the long list of our followers (two, to be exact).  Instead of registering the number of hits the blog gets, it counts how many unique IP addresses are used to access the webpage and in what country they are located.  Apparently we need to get a little more international.  So if you want to help my self esteem, you can look at our blog on different computers and get our numbers up! 

Start bugging S to post more because right now the title of this blog should be "This is Total B" and I can say that I am NOT a total B!  I think that S believes that blog posts should be deep and meaningful at all times but I just posted about a flag counter and yesterday I put up a picture of a picture of our dog so clearly this is not true.  Perhaps your emails could go something like this:

Dear S,
B keeps posting flag counters and pictures of pictures of your dog.  Perhaps you can jump in and save us from this inane chatter.  It is only a matter of time before we start getting a play-by-play of Buddy's day and since 90% of that day is spent sleeping, we are dreading this development.  Please help us.
Sincerely,
Your dear friend

And you can imagine him looking like this and saying, "Yes, I will help you.  Let's all lift a glass to my interesting blog input.  Cheers!"

A 3-Day training first

This weekend I sustained my first injury while training for the 3-Day during a 12-mile walk.  Nope, it wasn't shin splints or a pulled muscle or a twisted ankle or even a sunburn.  A bee stung me on my bottom.  Luckily I was almost home for my midpoint pit stop and water refill so S helped me put a baking soda paste on it and cover it with a band aid.  My first injury and my first bee sting, all at the same time!  It still itches and, it's location being where it is, the resulting scratching is highly unclassy.  A facebook friend asked me if it went something like this:



In other 3-Day news, we are now 11 weeks away from the event and I only have $250 left to raise!  My goal of $2300 is only 11% away!  Click here to learn more about how to help me reach my goal!

Someday

Someday we will have a big kitchen (I know you've heard this one before) and I will get the amazing beautiful eight-foot farm table from Kudzu antique store and I will love it so much and forever and it will travel through the generations.

I would like to buy it now.  But did I mention that it's eight feet long?  And on sale for $749?  But, they'll still have it in 5-10 years, right?

I would like to show you a picture so I googled "farm table" and "trellis farm table," as it was listed on the price tag, and "8 foot farm table pedestal base" but nothing even remotely as beautiful as this masterpiece appeared.

The dining room table is almost done, if the dang foam pieces would just get here.  We have fabric.  I don't love it, but I'm trying to develop an affection for it.  I thought I would love it.  Oh well.  Someday it will be our outdoor furniture on our big porch.  Are you beginning to envision the house that I am building in my head?  Did I mention that the entire house will be transportable and able to travel the world?  Yes, it will be amazing.  You will be amazed.

It is 2:31 am on Saturday morning and I am writing about tables.  I am not sure what that says about me.  Don't think I want to know.  Perhaps that I need more activity in my day.  Activity that has nothing to do with tables I am guessing.